Broken Hearts Are Never Truly Healed
by Heart Sewed Back Together
Summary: Set in Season 10. Contains some things that really happend in the episodes, but mainly AU. What happens when in the midst of trying to get over Carter, Abby's little sister turns up who she didn't even know existed.
1. Chapter 1

**Broken Hearts Are Never Truly Healed**

_A broken heart continues to beat._

Abby stood watching as she came round the corner. He looked different; _good_ different. His eyes had that sparkle in them that she hadn't seen since they very first got together. It had died not long after, when Eric had gotten sick and it was too much for Abby to handle, and he hadn't been strong enough either. They were just both too weak to make it last, just too much had happened to them both for it to work. His smile was genuine and showed how happy he was. Abby felt her own lips tickle towards her cheeks; his smile always was contagious. But then as her view became more clear she saw that he was not alone. A small Asian woman stood proudly next to him, her smile as real as his, as she laughed and chatted with Abby's colleagues. Abby's stomach turned with the thoughts that it should be her who was holding his hand, stroking his arm, looking up at him adoringly. She debated turning round and going off to find a patient to attend to, but she knew that she would have to face him sooner or later, and the later she left it, the more she would have to hear Haleh and Chuny talk about how well and happy he looks. She took and deep breath and walked confidently towards the happy couple.

_A broken heart is knowing that no matter what you do or say to yourself you can't fool your heart into believing that you will in fact be alright.  
_

"Hi," Abby said cheerfully, trying to sound as sincere as possible. She smiled as broadly as she felt she could withoutlooking like a nutcase and wondered if Carter would realise that she was hiding behind a wall. He was always so good at knowing when she was pretending, but as he looked at her Abby could tell that he was none the wiser of her feelings, of how much pain she was going through, and how she was putting every effort she had into not breaking down into tears at that very moment.

"Hey!" he replied bouncily, looking at her for a few moments without moving, and then awkwardly pulling her into a hug. He enveloped her tiny body with his one arm, the one that wasn't round the new woman in his life. Abby, however, couldn't respond to the hug in the same way. She barely touched him and pulled away as soon as was possible without looking rude. She just couldn't do it. She knew that if he squeezed her tight, or if she smelt his scent or felt the warmth of his body for too long, it would be too much for her and everything she had been working against would come back. She knew she would crack, and she couldn't let that happen now; she refused to cry. He still had that daft grin on his face, the one that only seconds earlier Abby had found cute, she now found teeth grindingly irritating. She wanted to scream at him to break down and cry, to shout in agony, to give some sort of sign that he was experiencing the same pain as she was. But there was nothing, nothing but smiles and laughter. Not only was he able to block out his own grief, he seemed to be able to ignore Abby's. He did not see how hurt she was inside, how sore her eyes were from wiping them violently.

_A broken heart is when you actually refuse to get out of bed in the morning because you're afraid of the reality that awaits you.  
_

She had cried so much for Carter over the last few months. Every night when she lay in her bed alone, wishing he was there to cuddle up to, knowing that he belonged by her side sleeping peacefully, but instead he was risking his life in Africa, not even giving Abby a second thought she had now realised. Sometimes she felt like staying in bed and never coming out to face the real world; sometimes it all just seemed too much for her to handle. She used to seek comfort in the thought that Carter was going through the same torture that she was enduring, that he was feeling the same grief over the end of their relationship, but she soon realised that this wasn't the case. He had forgotten about her, he had rid himself of her, just like she had been begging him to for months before. She hadn't realised how much she needed him, how much he meant to her. She knew that she was dependent on him, and that was one of the reasons she begged him to leave. She hadn't depended on someone else since she was six years old, and she didn't like the idea of having to start now in her thirties. But she hadn't realised how emotionally dependent she was on this one ordinary man. She didn't understand it, he was nothing special; he was just John Truman Carter III, but to everyone who knew him, just Carter. Sure, he had money, but Abby had no interest in his money whatsoever. She didn't know why she cared about him so much that it ached inside her heart to watch this other woman even stand near him, let alone kiss him. It was as these thoughts were going through Abby's mind that Carter went to introduce these two women who had come together through his life choices.

"Abby, this is Makemba. Kem, this is Abby," Carter said with glee. He seemed oblivious to the awkwardness this could cause.

"Welcome," Abby replied lamely to Kem, weakly shaking her hand. It was the only thing she could think to say, what else was she supposed to say? "I solemnly swear to hate you forever?" That was what she wanted to say more than anything, but obviously that wasn't really what Carter was after. But, then again, why was Abby being so polite? He'd run off to Africa when he wasn't even going to let her know, and then he wanted a quick get away and so he tried to fob her off with a letter. In all fairness, Abby should be making life as difficult as possible for him. But one glance in those chocolate brown eyes and she just couldn't do it. She decided to stick to the truth, without being cruel.

"And welcome back to you too," Abby said finally with a smile.

"Thanks," Carter replied warmly.

Abby noticed a small piece of paper in Carter's free hand; his left arm was still wrapped protectively around his Kem. He seemed unwillingly to let go of her even for a second, and this was starting to annoy Abby. She thought she knew what it was that Carter was holding; despite the fact that it looked like a photograph. Before she could say anything Luka came over to greet Carter. Abby's two favourite men in the whole world embraced, it was such a contrast to their relationship only a couple of years ago when they were fighting over Abby. Abby couldn't help but wish that it was back like that now; except now it seemed like she was the one that both of them were fighting against; she had been left outside in the cold.

_Add me to the list of broken hearts you've collected._

"What's that?" Abby asked after Luka had been introduced to Kem. She couldn't stop herself, she needed to know. Carter and Kem both smiled uncontrollably, and Carter looked slightly embarrassed, but in an excited embarrassed way.

"Erm…it's a sonogram," Carter replied proudly looking down to Kem. Abby's heart stopped and for a second she thought she couldn't breathe. Luka smiled broadly and shook Carter's hand. Abby composed herself, suddenly became aware of her facial expression and quickly painted on a smile.

"Congratulations," she said quietly.

"Thankyou," Carter replied, and for the first time since he'd been back he looked deep into Abby's eyes, and Abby suddenly felt very exposed. She looked away before he could see any more, and watched as they moved away to be greeted by other ER members. Abby and Luka were left stood alone together.

"Are you okay?" Luka asked sympathetically.

"I'm fine," Abby snapped back. She didn't feel guilty about the way she was talking to Luka; how dare he think that something like seeing Carter with another woman would affect her? How dare he think she were that weak?

"What did he do, knock her up as soon as he got there?" Abby asked bitterly before walking away. She knew she shouldn't have said it, but there was only so much anger and sadness she could keep trapped inside of her. Abby went into the coffee room, which was unusually empty, and before she could do anything, she began to cry. Why did it have to hurt so much? Especially since it was obvious that to Carter, Abby was just a thing of his past, just a name that he used to care about, but now she could just as well be a stranger? Why did she never feel happy ever more, even when she was surrounded by her friends? She sighed heavily, and decided to keep herself busy. She opened the door of the coffee room, and could see Susan talking to a young girl who looked about twelve or thirteen. The girl reminded Abby of somebody, but she couldn't but a name to the face. The girl was very small and skinny, with big blue eyes and ash blonde hair that reached her shoulders. She was wearing a brown hoodie and white jogging pants, under which her white trainers were just visible. She looked quite tomboyish for a young girl. As Abby grabbed a chart from the pile, she could see Susan coming towards her with her arm around the girl.

"Abby?" Susan said as they reached her.

"Yeah?" Abby looked down at the young girl who was looking up at Abby wide-eyed. She looked scared and excited at the same time.

"This young girl was looking for you."

"Hi," Abby said with a smile, "do I know you?"

"No," the girl replied with a small shake of her head, "my name's Alana. Alana Wyczenski."


	2. Little Sister

Disclaimer: I don't own ER or any of it's characters. Alana is mine though.

Author's Notes: Sorry for such a long time for the update. I've just been so busy.

Abby stared at the girl for about ten seconds in silence. Alana looked at Abby and then looked down at her feet, her fingers fiddling with the hem of her hoodie.

"You're related to me?" Abby asked, half excitedly. She only had a small family, and what she had weren't exactly perfect. Abby was almost happy at seeing this little girl stood in front of her.

"Yeah," Alana replied quietly, still looking at her shoes.

"How?" Abby asked smiling.

"Erm…well,erm… I'm your sister," Alana finally looked back up at Abby, whose face now showed a look of pure confusion. Susan suddenly felt very out of place and in the way, and decided to make herself scarce.

"I'm just gonna go…erm, check on…someone," Susan stuttered pathetically and walked away quickly.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I think you must have the wrong person. I don't have a sister, I just have a younger brother."

"You are Abigail Marjorie Lockhart right?" Alana asked, reading Abby's name from a crumpled piece of pink paper she had in her pocket.

"Yes," Abby answered croakily.

"Well then I think you do have a sister. And I'm her. We have the same father."

"You're my dad's daughter!" Abby exclaimed.

"Yeah," Alana replied, her expression one of sadness. "It was my dad who told me about you."

"I haven't spoken to my father for -"

"Seventeen years," Alana finished for Abby. "I know, he told me."

Abby sighed heavily, unable to speak for a moment.

"Well…why are you here?" Abby asked. Alana looked up at Abby who could see that the teenager was fighting back tears.

"My dad…he…erm, he…well he was sick and… he died, two days ago," Alana finished although her voice was mixed with sobs. Abby instinctively wrapped her arms around Alana's tiny, quivering frame and held her close, whispering "shh" sensitively. When Alana had calmed down a little, Abby pulled away and gave her a tissue.

"Where's your mom?" Abby asked.

"She left my dad when I was about three. I've never seen her since, and I don't want to. I don't remember her at all, to me she doesn't exist. My dad knew that he didn't have long left and then -"

"Listen, sweetheart, do you want to go into the locker room, it's a bit quieter in there?" Abby asked. Alana nodded in agreement. When Abby had led Alana in there, she continued to talk quickly. She seemed to want to get this all off her chest as quickly as possible.

"Then about a month ago, he pulled out a picture of a girl who looked about my age. He said that was my sister, but a long time ago. I had no idea I had a sister at all. He told me all about you, everything he knew. How beautiful you were, how you always made him laugh when you were little, and how proud he was of you for being so strong when you took care of your mother."

Abby felt tears forming in her eyes as she thought about what her father had said.

"He told me the last place he knew you'd worked was here. He wanted me to find you when he'd gone, he said he trusted you to take care of me."

"Wow." Abby replied. Alana smiled.

"How old are you?"

"I'm fifteen," Alana replied, "sixteen next month."

"You don't look a day over thirteen!" Abby replied, shocked.

"Yeah I know. Thanks for that," Alana replied sarcastically, but grinning.

"Oh you're definitely my sister, you've even got the sarcasm to go with it!"

Alana laughed happily. As Abby smiled back, Carter and Kem came into the locker room kissing each other's faces off. Alana turned round to see who had come in, and Abby stifled a grin as she saw Alana pull a disgusted face at the two lovebirds. But then Abby saw Carter and Kem look straight into each other's eyes and she felt a huge twang of jealousy in the pit of her stomach again.

"Oh, hey!" Carter said with a smile when he finally noticed them. "Who's this?" Carter asked, grinning at Alana.

"I'm Ab-"

"She's just looking for her mother who was brought in," Abby interrupted, "She was a little bit lost weren't you darling?"

"Erm, yeah…yeah, my mom came in this morning, and so I decided to look in the doctors' locker room for her," Alana said slowly, looking at Abby incredulously, before smiling at Kem and Carter and leaving the room.

"Cute kid," Carter said to Abby.

"Yeah," Abby replied. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, Abby excused herself and left the locker room, expecting Alana to be outside waiting for her, but Alana was nowhere to be seen. Abby frowned in confusion. Where would she have gone? Abby looked out of the huge glass doors and could just see a golden head bouncing up and down across the road, walking away from the hospital.

"Luka, cover for me!" Abby shouted to the Croatian doctor stood behind the admin desk, and ran out of the hospital after Alana. Abby saw Alana start to speed up too, and she only eventually caught up with her four blocks away from the hospital. She grabbed the teenager's arm and turned her round to face her.

"Hey! What did you run off like that for?" Abby asked her.

"What do you care? You obviously don't want people to know about me for whatever reason, so I'll be out of your hair so fast you'll have forgotten I came within a week." Alana spat back at her, clearly furious.

"That's not true. I'm not ashamed of you!" Abby replied, grabbing hold of Alana's hands. "I just… I couldn't tell… I just didn't want that man and woman to know who you were okay?"

"Why!" Alana asked, narrowing her eyes.

"It's complicated. I'll explain everything, just not right now okay? Let me take you home and get you something to eat, and then we can sort out what we're going to do about all this? I've only known you twenty minutes or so, let's at least get to know each other first yeah?" Abby suggested. Alana looked at Abby expressionless, until after a few moments she heaved a heavy sigh.

"Okay," she replied, taking Abby's outstretched hand. They made their way back to the hospital in silence, both engrossed in their own thoughts. Abby was frightened; frightened of taking care of a child, a female teenager at that, frightened of telling the rest of the ER about Alana, frightened about telling Maggie about her father's death. Alana was frightened too; frightened about dealing with her grief over the death of her dad, frightened about living with her sister who she'd never met before, and frightened about where her life would go from here.

They returned into the ER, Abby still clinging tightly to Alana's hand, and went back into the lounge.

"My shift finishes in an hour, are you alright to stay here until then?" Abby asked Alana.

"Well, yeah, but what am I supposed to do if that man and woman come in again?" Alana replied, her arms folded across her chest.

"Just… tell them I told you to stay in here, I'll deal with the rest." Abby replied. "That book on the floor there is mine, you can read it if you want. It's quite good." Alana nodded and picked up the book on the floor, before stretching out on one of the sofas and making herself comfortably. Abby laughed silently at her little sister; they were so alike it was uncanny.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Abby said as she opened the lounge door. Alana waved without looking up from the book. Abby left the room and made her way over to the admin desk, where Luka was still stood.

"Everything alright?" he asked her.

"Everything's great," Abby lied, smiling a fake smile at Luka and picking up a chart.

"Hey Abby, who was that little girl you - " Luka called after her, but Abby chose not to hear him. As she made her way to Exam 3 to check out the five-year-old with a marble lodged all the way up her left nostril, she saw Carter and Kem once again, now talking to Kerry. Abby sighed. She didn't know why she didn't want Carter to know about Alana, she just didn't want him feeling sorry for her, or feeling like she needed any help, because she didn't, and certainly not his help.

_And her heart was broken into a thousand pieces, and upon each one was written his name._

It felt like every time Abby saw him with his arms around another woman, her heart broke all over again. She felt angry tears burning in her eyes and she quickly and roughly rubbed at her cheek, willing them to stay away. She finally managed to drag herself away from the scene in front of her, and entered the room where little Olivia Peters sat, cradled in the arms of her mother.

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